Sunday, January 10, 2010
I've been experiencing an unusually long streak of happiness. I'd say I don't know why, but I think maybe I do. And it's actually rather counter-intuitive, considering I've just had another birthday, and I've had a long (somewhat notorious) spell of hating my birthday. I think this happiness comes from a sense that there are good things right around the corner; that life is ahead of me, not behind me. Not the usual sentiment of a woman my age. Granted there are lots of things slated to happen in 2010 (like the Flipped movie!) but they will come and go, and this feeling seems deeper and stronger than that. It feels like possibility. Like lots of new, unexpected things are about to happen. Who knows what? I almost don't care what. I just like the feeling of possibility. Now, I think part of the reason I feel this way is because my family had a really wonderful Christmas break together. Mark had time off, and the boys had vacation from school and they got along great. They went shopping together, did homework together, slept in the bunk beds and yakked through the night. They seemed to really appreciate each other, which made me so happy. I've told them both since they were small that my big wish in life is that they will be friends--as children, but especially as adults. It's the one thing I want more than anything else in the world, because I think with that all the other hurdles they may face are manageable. Also, we don't live a life of big entertainment. We don't even go to the movies that much. Mostly, we entertain ourselves here, and one of the things we do is "Family Band". My younger son hates when I call it that because it sounds so lame. So the rest of us call it that, just to see him pull a face. Our "official" band name is Thing 2 (because all of us are second children, except for our first son, but he got out-voted). We really should be The Parsons Family, but that sounds cheezy. You think The Partridge Family when you hear The Parsons Family, but we're like The Partridge Family meets Metallica. We're loud. Oh, and (little detail) we're a real band. Anyway, this vacation we raised the roof quite a few times, and recorded a new original ("Reputation"). Mark just mixed it down tonight, and it's SO much fun (and it totally rocks). Maybe I'll upload it and provide a link next week if anyone's interested. Double-anyway, playing loud guitar is my therapy, so I got a lot of it this break, which must certainly be contributing to my happy state of mind. I think everyone needs some sort of creative outlet to up the happiness quotient. Or at least stay sane. Write, paint, sculpt, shake the walls with a Marshall amp...something. I really think the two things that keep me sane are running and my guitar. Like Evangeline in Confessions of a Serial Kisser, plugging in an electric guitar transformed me. Gave me an outlet for rage and joy and pain. Triple-anyway, Mark plays the drums and until a few years ago, our kids used to tell us to TURN IT DOWN! How backwards is that? But now they play with us (lead guitar and bass) and they don't think it's weird or uncool to be in a band with their parents. They like it. I just shake my head in wonder at that. I have the best kids. The best husband. The best family. And it makes me happy. Really, really happy.